Ms. Sassy

Hope the interwebz is doing well today.

Last week at clinicals, we were a little slow. I had an easy patient that was up with assist with no AMS or anything. I assumed that that meant it was going to be an easy day. Nope. She had COPD with an O2 sat of 75%, which isn't that bad, but if she would comply with the nasal cannula, it would have been a lot higher....also, everything I asked her to do, she was pissy about. Just general nastiness in my general direction. Not a big deal, but she softened me during our head to toe assessment together. I had just completed the physical part of it, and I was asking how her general health status was, how she felt, if anything new had come up since yesterday, etc:

Me: Do you have any pain anywhere Mrs. X?

Mrs. X: Counting the pain in my ass that you are causing me, one.

Me: Well, on a 1 to 10 scale, with 10 being the worst pain you have ever felt, how would you rate that pain in your rear?

Mrs. X: Fifteen. Now get out of my room.

Deadpan. No smile. It was hilarious. I had to step out of the room after that.