Back in the Saddle

Soooooo....NOT relevant to the new year, I have been working out again and going to the gym. My friend has been helping me with weights, and I have been doing cardio on my own time. Let me tell you something: A fat ass on a diet is NOT someone to piss off. I have cut out anything fried, everything liquid except lots of water and some skim milk and I have cut down on my bread consumption. What does this mean? Living in the south? I can't eat anything. Everyone I know cooks beans, but they put a hunk of pork fat and a pound of butter. Chicken? Fried. Collard Greens? Butter. Pork fat. Pinto Beans? salt. fat. butter. You get the idea. In my humble opinion, if I am going to be a nurse, I have to be somewhat healthy. How am I going to tell someone that is 300 pounds with a heart problem that they have to control their eating, salt consumption, and exercise, if my fat tail is waddling in their room like a Thanksgiving turkey?

Also another thing that I really don't understand is nurses and doctors that smoke. I know your job is stressful, I know you have a lot going on, but you certainly aren't going to get any of it done while you are outside smoking. When my boyfriend's mother was in the hospital recently, she had a nurse that smelled like an ashtray. It was so gross. One week into nursing school, I laid cigarette smoking down after two years and never picked it back up again. I can't even be around smoke anymore. ugh.

Okay. This post has turned into a health/rant seminar. I think I am done for now. I just have to keep telling myself: Step away from the fries, put down the hamburger. Step away from the fries, put down the hamburger.

One last note: For visual reference, this is what smoking does to your lungs. I think you can tell the difference between the two. Think about it, and take a deep breath.

Large Cup o' Joe...Sorta

I am serenely sitting here enjoying my peace and quiet away from school. I don't have to go back for 16 days and 9 hours. I have a cup of tea, television, and no desire to do homework whatsoever. Thank you very much. That doesn't mean I don't have any, it just means that I don't have any desire. You see, desire, also known as motivation, is the key to getting things done. The only thing I want done right now is this blog post.

But, I digress.

As a general rule, when someone is in the hospital you keep track of their I&O, or Input & Output. That means you write down everything they drink, in mL, and everything they put out, in mL. Except for poo, that comes in S, M, L, and XL, and how many a day. We were taught fairly early on in the semester about I&O and what to do to keep track of our patient's "business." However, I guess some of us should have listened a little better, because damn this is the grossest thing I have ever heard of one of our students doing.

You see, a bedpan is a magical thing. It is a great item when used correctly. It has little notches on it to measure urine. URINE PEOPLE. PEE. U-R-I-N-E. Not poop. NO MEASURING OF THE POO. I came upon the occurence of one of my fellow classmates, what seemed like a girl elbow deep in sh*t. I guess she missed the part about S, M, L, or XL. From the looks of what she was packing into this measuring cup, I think that an XXL distinction needs to be added to the list. That girl was just scooping, pouring, tapping, mashing, and packing away. It was all over her gloves, the patient was staring, and frankly, I think the relative was going to throw up (Luckily we don't have to measure anyone's I&O's but the patient's.) She looked like a kid in a sandbox. After I stopped laughing out in the hall, I let our instructor know so that she could fill the girl in. Let's just say, when lunch came, I saw that lady wash her hands 293482093 times before she ate.